There are several reasons a married couple may seek professional help in their relationship. Marriage counseling and couples counseling can be very beneficial, particularly when they notice something is not right in the marriage.
After you have decided to give counseling a shot, the next step is locating a counselor that specializes in marriage and/or couples counseling. You might have to see several counselors to find the right one. It’s important that each of the spouses feel comfortable, so continue trying until you find the right fit.
Whereas some spouses are at a higher risk for divorcing because of factors like marrying too young, having parents that divorced, or being in a lower income bracket, not one of these by themselves are signs they should go to counseling.
Rather, you should think about aspects of your marriage that might be causing anguish, displeasure, or contention. Think about the below questions about yourself, your spouse, and your marriage:
- Are you and your spouse having conflicts over religious faith or morals?
- Are you often criticizing each other?
- Is there a lot of pettishness in your marriage?
- Are you tending to withdraw from each other?
- Do you feel disdain, irritation, or bitterness for one another?
- Do you think you have poor communication?
- Are you feeling indifferent toward your partner?
- Are you feeling like you and your spouse have nothing in common?
- Do you believe you are growing apart from each other?
- Is there cheating, addiction, or abusiveness in your marriage?
When you’ve answered “yes” to some of these questions, then might you be at a higher risk for relationship discontent and divorce. It does not mean a divorce is going to happen, but it might mean that you are going to have put in a lot of work to keep your relationship wholesome and happy. A marriage counselor is able to assist you to work on that.
There are a lot of reasons a marriage might come to a point when counseling is necessary. The stresses of day-to-day life mixed in with the work and family demands can make it more challenging for couples to feel close and interconnected.
It’s important to keep in mind that contemplating marriage counseling isn’t a sign that your marriage is coming to an end. Rather, it shows a willingness to put in the work to improve the marriage, reinforce your communication, and grow closer to your spouse.
Spouses that have realistic expectations of each another and their marriage, communicate greatly, use conflict resolution techniques, and are compatible with each other have a decreased risk for divorce. And even those couples can benefit from counseling in times of need or simply to strengthen their communication skills and build a stronger connection.
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
The most studied and beneficial type of couples counseling is emotionally focused therapy – EFT – devised by Dr. Sue Johnson. Research has shown that this therapy is long-lasting and helpful with those of diverse ethnic backgrounds also.
One study conducted in 2017, for instance, examined at the productiveness of couples counseling with a group of veterans, with deviations in age and race, and discovered it to be generally beneficial, with relationships continually improved eighteen months following therapy. Another 2017study also discovered improvements lasting twenty-four months following therapy. A report published in 2015 discovered EFT beneficial in couples comping with infertility.
Typically, marriage and relationship researchers recommend that the objective of couples counseling should be to alter the routines of interaction, emotional connections, and communication among the partners.
Is Marriage Counseling Worth It?
Marriage counseling can be valuable for any couple that wants to discover ways to make their marriage better. It can be beneficial at different points in a marriage and can address a wide array of issues that might be present in a marriage.
Younger couples might benefit from counseling that aids them in establishing healthy communication and practices early on in their marriage. Studies have found that counseling before marriage could also help encourage couples to take steps to maintain their relationship in the long run.
Couples that want to put in work on changing themselves are also able to benefit. Counseling is more effective when each of the partners are ready and willing to examine their own shortcomings and are wanting to make change.
Couples that seek help sooner than later may achieve better results than those who put it off. Couples that get counseling prior to problems becoming serious may benefit a plenty from counseling.
Even those who have come to the point where they are thinking about divorce are still able benefit from marriage counseling.
Source:
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Stritof, S. (2021, October 17). Does marriage counseling work? Verywell Mind. Retrieved March 25, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/does-marriage-counseling-work-2300428
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