How to Divorce Without Going to Court

How to Divorce Without Court

Learn about the methods that might help you avoid going to court in your divorce.

Can I Get A Divorce Without Going To Court?

Let us make it clear now—even though most states allow you to get a divorce judgment without going to a courthouse, some necessitate that you see the judge. If you are able to settle your issues in beforehand, your court appearance can be short-lived, instead of hours, or the days that it takes in a contested divorce case. If you can, you and your spouse might try to settle your issues on your own, or you can make use of one of the methods of (ADR) Alternative Dispute Resolution.

According to LegalZoom, “An uncontested divorce is one in which both parties agree to the divorce and the terms of the settlement without going to trial. This does not mean there are no arguments or disputes between the spouses. It simply means the spouses reach an agreement without going to court and having a judge resolve contested issues.”

Option 1. Marital Settlement Agreement

If you are on good terms you and your spouse can make a list of your marital issues and try to reach a solution on each of them. It’s good to do a little research in advance to learn more about the issues you’ll need to talk about, so you do not exclude anything. Usually, divorce issues can include any or all of them:

  • Division of property and debt
  • spousal support or alimony
  • child(ren) custody, and
  • child(ren) support.

When you both reach an agreement on every one of your divorce-related issues, you need to have a divorce lawyer honor your settlement by creating a Property Settlement Agreement. This typically contains important clauses, along with the terms you’ve come to. Keep in mind though, you and your spouse can’t use the same lawyer—you need to have your own lawyers look at the agreement for you.

Option 2. Mediating Your Divorce

A favorable method of ADR is Mediation. Mediators are skilled and experienced professionals (usually lawyers or child custody professionals) who help each spouse in working through their disagreements. The spouses will produce the mediator with documents (like tax returns) and details ahead of time and speak with the mediator as often as you need to come to a settlement. To come to a written agreement, the objective is to decrease the settlement terms.

Mediation is generally a lot less draining than a contested divorce. Discussions are somewhat casual and typically takes place at the mediator’s office. And even though the couple can have their attorneys with them, it’s not a requirement, which adds to the cost-efficiency of the mediation process. (Actually, having attorneys at the meeting can sometimes be ineffectual, especially if an attorney is aggressive.) The mediator needs to receive payment, but the cost is typically divided.

Option 3. Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is one other type of ADR. It’s comparable to mediation in that the objective is to reach a settlement, but it is structured differently.

Collaborative divorce does not involve a mediator or other 3rd party. Instead, the spouses each have an attorney, and the four take part in group discussions with the goal of coming to an agreement. Attorneys that practice collaborative law typically has unique training in these areas. And to guarantee that they retain their attention on a settlement, the law in a lot of all states, if not all of them, won’t allow them to represent the spouses again if the negotiations fail.

Collaborative law is based on a “team” concept. Each participant is required to work as a “team” to come to an agreement. Any professionals that participate in the process (like property appraisers, accountants, and child psychologists —wherein custody is a concern) are required to be impartial and agreed to by each spouse.

People are inclined to choose collaborative divorce instead of mediation if they are more content with an attorney representing them in the stage of the settlement process. But don’t forget, if you can’t come to an agreement, you will have to begin the legal divorce process with new and different attorneys. This might mean a considerable added expense, since the new attorneys will have to become familiar with the case, from the beginning.

Option 4. Divorce Arbitration

Divorce arbitration is another type of ADR and is commonly used by couples that don’t think they’ll come to a settlement but require someone to determine their issues outside of the usual court process. Conversely, mediation and collaborative divorce are suited to getting your case settled, the goal of arbitration is for the arbitrator to determine the matter and issue a decision, almost like the judge would after a trial. (Divorce arbitration might not be offered in every state, speak with a local attorney to determine if it’s practiced in your state.)

Arbitration has advantages instead of a court trial. You and your spouse are allowed to decide who the arbitrator is. Whereas in court, you can’t decide on your judge. Additionally, you can choose to ease the typical rules of evidence. For example, you can agree to allow the creation of a witness’s sworn written statement, instead of them appearing in court. In addition, you will work as a team to schedule dates, times, and duration of your arbitration discussions. That is an extravagance you won’t have in court, where contested divorces can stick around for over a year, and you might spend hours every time you’re there, simply waiting to see the judge.

The big disadvantage of arbitration is the decision is irrevocable and final. If there is some impropriety on the arbitrator’s role, you generally can’t appeal. In a court trial, you can appeal mostly as a matter of course. In addition to your lawyers getting paid, you will also have to pay the arbitrator. This can get expensive, specifically with the more complicated cases.

Can I Get Divorced Without A Court Appearance?

Although you have settled your case, you still are required to file a divorce complaint or petition or with the court to dissolve the marriage legally. Typically, which spouse files the complaint bases the divorce on no-fault grounds), Like “irreconcilable differences.” In the states that don’t need a court appearance, you’ll have to submit the necessary forms and documentation. These usually are available on the court’s website. If all is in order, the judge can approve the settlement and issue a final ruling of divorce.

If your state expects a court appearance after you have completed the initial divorce filing procedure you will notify the court clerk that your case has been settled. The court will note the case as “uncontested,” and will grant you an accelerated court date. Usually, you will make an appearance before the judge for around 15 minutes, confirming the reasoning for the divorce, and answering questions concerning the agreement. To reiterate, you can typically find helpful information procedural processes on the court’s website.

It does not matter which direction you decide to go with your divorce, think about speaking with a knowledgeable family law attorney, who can help you with the process.

Do I Have To Go To Court For Uncontested Divorce?

An uncontested divorce is a divorce in which each party agrees to the divorce and the terms of the settlement without having to go to trial. This doesn’t mean there are no disputes or disagreements among the spouses. It just means the spouses come to an agreement instead of going to court and getting a judge to resolve contested matters.

What Happens If You Don’t Show Up To Court For Your Divorce Hearing?

When spouses agree to the terms of the divorce but one of them doesn’t want to go to court, the couple may continue with an uncontested divorce.

One or both spouses may begin an uncontested divorce process by filing their complaint with a local county court.

Prior to filing for divorce, the spouses are required both enter into a separation agreement that sets forth the rules for matters such as the division of property, payment of any debts, child(ren) custody, and alimony. They also must make full financial disclosure to the other spouse.

The spouse that didn’t initiate the divorced signs a wavier and agrees that a divorce should be awarded on the conditions of the separation agreement. The spouse that doesn’t file, is not required to make a court appearance.


  1. Pandolfi, Joseph. “How to Divorce Without Going to Court.”, Nolo, 30 Nov. 2017,
  2. Divorce Hearing No Show: What Happens If You or Your Spouse Don’t Show Up?” Ohio Divorce Attorney,

Speak with Our Divorce Lawyer in Scottsdale & Phoenix Today!

Moshier Law should be your first choice for when you need the best divorce lawyer in Scottsdale and Phoenix, Arizona. An experienced family law attorney will work with you to obtain the best possible outcome in your situation. We advocate for our clients, so they have the brightest future possible. Give us a call today at 480-999-0800 for a free consultation.


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Moshier Law services all of Phoenix and Scottsdale, Arizona. Jennifer and her team of professionals seek to resolve Family Law cases efficiently with your goals in mind.

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